Who Judy is (In my Perspective) and what she has meant to me.

Judy was the first person who showed me you can be at peace with the Lord despite troubles in your past, and uncertainties sure to come in your future.

When I first heard her CD 'One', I was affected deeply. There is an audible peace of spirit, and trust in the Lord when she sings. I sent many to friends and family. I wanted them to hear this amazing woman, with her simple clear voice, sing of a faith I could only be envious of. I was in a dark pit of dispair, and it was deep, heading steadily towards suicide. It was just a matter of time.

Judy made me think alot, not just because of her voice and songs, but because of her attitude towards life, and towards those around her, especially her family. When I think back on different visits, the words that come to mind to describe her are that she is considerate, speaks wisely, is kind, thoughtful, gentle, peaceful, and quietly joyful. She puts others first, and is a good wife to her husband.

The peaceful part confused me the most. Her life was in constant transition, and her past had been traumatic. (Until I read her testimony I had no clue just HOW traumatic. Somehow she had the wisdom to know just how much I could handle hearing at that time). How could she be peaceful with no place that was really home, an often busy husband, a small child, and hardly any 'worldy comforts' to keep her content? Why did her past not haunt her the way mine did me? It was totally new and foriegn to me. I really did not get it for a long time. I was obsessed with things, material comforts, and 'anchors', specifically, a home of my own, security, safety, a place to hide in times of trouble. How was she happy without these things? Was she really just like women I had known before? Timid 'doormats' unwilling or unable to stand up for themselves and their needs? They had been miserable. Judy didn't seem miserable. I was trying to stand up for myself, and I was still miserable, and not very pleasant to be around either. What was Judy's secret? I was a Christian too, I thought. Why wasn't I more at peace?

During my time in Hawaii, God wrenched me out of the pit of dispair I was in, helped me get off all the drugs the Doctors had me on, and walked with me on the long road out. It was a long, learning road...I'm still on it, praise God, getting farther from the pit everyday I walk. If I had been a Christian since childhood, I didn't learn what that meant until 2000.

When Judy left Hawaii, I left soon after, moving back to the mainland of the U.S.

Sometime after I came home, I began, through a series of events, to understand what it means to "trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths."

God didn't give up on me. In most everything that happened in my life, He was teaching me to trust Him, to seek Him. I was and am learning to find all that I need in Him, and it's changed everything. He's taking the overwhelming fear away. He's teaching me, slowly and gently.

Only when I was willing to not have a home of my own, did God graciously give me one. Only when I give up trying to fight for control of my life, is God able to bless and teach me. He's made me hungry for him, and what HE wants for my life. What I want matters little. I need to be doing what the Lord wants with my life, or there is no point in doing anything.

During the beginning of this ongoing learning time, I came across Judy's testimony online. I realized how much she had endured, and was ashamed of how I had complained about what now seem trivial things in my own past to her. Even as she listened to those trivial things, she tried to share with me the way to be freed from their bondage, but wisely had kept from telling me everything about her own experience. I can't really explain why this was 'wise', other than I might have been lost in the past details of her trauma as well, and might not have heard any of ' the way out'.

The three things God taught her in her testimony I am also having to learn, and relearn, but I'm finally on the right path.

Judy is one of the people who helped save my life. Whatever God chooses to do with me from here on out, she is a part of it.

God Bless you Judy. You have my Love and Gratitude, Always.

Pat (P.S.A. Robinson) -- Virginia, U.S.A.