沒有被抱著入睡而生氣?

Q: Dear Judy:

我最近遇到一個問題相當困擾:

我的兩個寶寶現在七個半月大, 是遵行5:30 9:00 12:30 16:00 19:30這個時間表喝奶, 她們一天吃三次副食品(除了早上5:30和睡前那一餐之外), 一天約吃200c.c的食物泥, 以前在19:30餵完後, 就會用揹巾搖著她們入睡, 通常10~20分鐘她們一定會睡著! 但最近問題來了, 她們在喝完16:00 這一餐後, 玩到約七點就吵著要睡覺, 而隨著她們體重的增加, 即使用揹巾也是很大的負擔, 因此最近我開始不用揹巾搖她們入睡, 而是在七點左右, 檢查過尿布後, 就把她們放在小床上, "強迫"她們入睡, 而這樣就會省略19:30這一餐(有嘗試在七點左右餵奶,但她們不肯喝), 她們通常會哭得呼天搶地超過30MIN以上才會睡著!

請問我該如何調整, 才會讓她們乖乖入睡, 而不要哭的這麼久? 聽她們哭真的很難受呢! 我不曉得她們睡前的哭是沒有安全感? 或者覺得睡覺時間還沒到? 還是沒有被抱著入睡而生氣?

Jennifer

A: Dear Jennifer,

有關於妳的寶寶們哭鬧，我很驚訝，為什麼妳的寶寶們仍然一天吃五餐？到了這個年紀，大多數孩子會轉變成一天吃三餐，間隔約五個半小時一餐。你現在可能得考慮要如何努力讓寶寶一天吃三餐！

至於寶寶們哭鬧，我最可能的猜測是『因為她們沒有被搖著入睡而生氣』，她們氣妳沒有搖著她們入睡。過去幾個月來，她們被訓練成有被搖著入睡的習慣，所以現在妳不這麼做了，她們因此而生氣。

從現在開始，就從這個失敗的經驗中學習。在未來，如果你不想要讓寶寶們養成某個習慣，那麼就不要讓這個習慣開始。

關於Dr. Denmark的寶寶們，他們的餵食作息看起來更像是：6:30AM，12:00PM，6:00PM，而且在餵完最後一餐後，就直接送寶寶上床。現在你的時間表和Dr. Denmark有一點點不同。

1. 所以首先，我會努力做到一天餵食三餐的時間表。

2. 努力和寶寶們玩，玩到讓她們覺得很累(在最後一餐之前覺得很累，不是之後)。舉個例子，在6:00PM這一餐之前和寶寶們玩，並讓她們覺得很累。

3. 然後在吃完最後一餐之後，立刻把寶寶們放到床上。

4. 不要搖著她們入睡。幫助她們建立一個新的習慣：例如唱一首短歌，或者一個30秒的擁抱，每天在她們睡前做這個動作。給孩子們一個安全的玩具(例如一條她們喜歡的小毯子或者小玩具)，接著微笑(不要看起來有罪惡感！) 要笑得看起來是自然且快樂的. 然後，走出房間關上門。不要站在門外聽她們哭，讓自己找點事情做，例如去做家事，或者打開音樂、戴上耳機去聽妳的ipod。

請讓我知道事情的發展，妳是一個好母親，好好享受有孩子所帶來的快樂！

Judy

(A: About your babies' crying, I'm wondering, why are your babies still on a five meal plan? By this age, most children have switched to a three meal plan, meals about five and a half hour apart. You may want to consider striving towards three meals now.

As for their crying, my best guess is that 沒有被抱著入睡而生氣 (they’re angry you have stopped rocking them). For many months they have been trained to have the habit of 用揹巾搖著她們入睡 (being rocked to sleep). So this new change is making them angry.

Now, do not feel bad. Just learn from this experience. In the future, do not start a habit that you are unable or unwilling to carry through.

For Dr. Denmark's babies, the schedule would look more like: 6:30AM, 12:00PM, 6:00PM feeding. And then go to bed right after the last meal. Right now your schedule is a little different.

1. So first, I would strive for the three meal schedule.

2. Strive to PLAY and make your children tired BEFORE the last meal, not after. For example, play with them and make them tired before the 6:00PM feeding.

3. Then put the children to bed very soon after the last meal.

4. Stop rocking them. Develop a new habit, such as one short song, or a 30 second hug. And do this habit everyday. Give the children a safe toy (a blanket they love or a soft toy they love.) Smile (do not look guilty!). Look natural and happy. (Look like it's very natural for babies to sleep by themselves without being rocked first.) Then walk out of the room and close the door. Do not stand outside the door to listen to them cry! Go busy yourself with housework. Turn on the music or put your headphones on to listen to your ipod.

Let me know how things progress.

You are a good mother. Enjoy the blessing of children.

Judy)

沒有被抱著入睡而生氣?